Near to You
by TheDevilYouDon't
Summary: A Peter/Susan songfic based on the song Near to You by a Fine Frenzy. R & R. NO FLAMES! I'm serious. The rating is for the pairing.


**Alrighty, another Peter/Susan songfic. Please, if you are in disagreement with this, clickith the backith button . . . ith.**

**I know that I am starting to come out with quite a few Peter/Susan songfics, but I can think of a lot that fit the two.**

**Again with the back button if you disagree.**

**This is dedicated to one of RL friends, who pointed out that this song reminded her of Susan and Peter. Thanks!**

_He and I had something beautiful_

_But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last_

_I loved him so but I let him go_

_'Cause I knew he'd never love me back_

Susan lie on her bed back in Finchley, where she belonged. The bit about belonging was what she had convinced herself third day back from Narnia. Now, it had been several months since, and it was beginnning of summer. She was to spend the first month at their house in Finchley before heading for America with her parents. She didn't want to leave, but it wasn't like she had a chance. She didn't want to leave Peter, but it wasn't like she had a choice.

After they had left Narnia, Peter and Susan had turned towards eachother, broken-hearted, and had then since traveled miles from the point of no return. It wasn't like they had meant to do anything to harm . . . themselves, they were just looking for a last bit of comfort, and the only way that they could find it, was to confide in eachother.

_Such pain as this_

_Shouldn't have to be experienced_

_I'm still reeling from the loss,_

_Still a little bit delirious_

She had been in love with Caspian, there was no doubt in it, but there was no way that it could have worked out in the end. She realized, after hours of thinkig, that she had known it from the start, and yet, she had played along, acted as though it was something that was okay, something that work out. Now, she had figured out that this had been her first mistake. This was the one that lead to the larger ones later on.

Susan remembered the morning that she and Peter had walked with Aslan, and they had been told that they could never again return to Narnia. The words, once they had been spoken, cut through the air like a dagger to the heart, and it felt, to both Susan and Peter, as though the wind had just been knocked from their lungs. Susan remembered the tears that had fallen. The comforting words of Peter as he held her and they wept together. She remembered seeing Caspian, and the feeling of utter dread at how idiotic she had comprimised her actions after first meeting him. She also remembered how she had kissed him. Nothing. That was her first realization after the kiss. There was no spark, and she found no joy in it afterwards.

_Near to you, I am healing_

_But it's taking so long_

_'Cause though he's gone_

_And you are wonderful_

_It's hard to move on_

_Yet, I'm better near to you._

_You and I have something different_

_And I'm enjoying it cautiously_

_I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard_

_To get back to who I used to be_

It had not been like that the first time that she had kissed Peter. With Peter it was so natural, it was often hard to distinguish each other in their fuss. With him, she felt the tall tale butterflies, the ones she had been told about from a young age. Susan knew what this meant. She was in love with her own brother. But she didn't care about it, and neither did he. When they were together, the pushed apart what their parents, siblings, and, especially, what Aslan would think, and lived in the moment. Even though, in their chests, their hearts bunched together in shattered pieces, being broken together was better than being broken alone.

They appreciated each other, and together began to work their way to becoming their old selves once again, but it would take time. After the shocking news that they had recieved, it would take time before they were back to how they used to be. But, it was worth it. It was difficult, but worth it. Unfortunately, the only time that they had together, were nights, times when no one else was home, or spare moments during the day. The last were the hardest to come across, but they worked it out so that, during the day, they did not fall apart all at once, because falling apart together was better than falling apart alone.

_He's disappearing_

_Fading suddenly_

_I'm so close to being yours_

_Won't you stay with me_

_Please_

_Near to you, I am healing_

_But it's taking so long_

_'Cause though he's gone_

_And you are wonderful_

_It's hard to move on_

_Yet, I'm better near to you._

The month ended too soon, and before she knew it, Susan was awaiting Peter in her room. It was their last night together for the rest of the summer. It was all she could do to keep herself from breaking down on the spot, but she kept herself together, and what seemed like hours later, she heard a quiet knock on her door. Standing, Susan straightened her nightgown and walked to the door. Peter stood in the hallway. He smiled when the door opened, and quietly entered. Susan closed the door behind him and clicked the lock in, then turned to her brother. Before she could turn around, Peter grabbed her into his arms, holding her there.

Susan smiled, hugging him back. After several minutes of this, Peter let her go and leaned down and kissed her. She felt the fire works again, and was, again, amazed by how good it felt to be with him. They stayed together all night, waking before dawn so that Peter could get back to his own room before their parents woke up. Before he left the room, Peter held Susan in his arms again, not wanting to let go, that was when their parents door opened. Peter quickly explained that he had just gotten out of bed and come to give Susan her pre-goodbye hug. Their parents laughed, and before Susan could tell what time it was, they were at the front door, all of the Pevensies packed. Peter was going to a train to the Professor's new home, Edmund and Lucy to their cousin's, and Mister, Misses, and Susan to the airport. Before boarding his train, Peter looked at Susan, eyes filled with silent tears, and smiled the smile that he used only when greeting her. It was the smile that he only used on her.

_I only know that I am_

_Better where you are_

_I only know that I am_

_Better where you are_

_I only know that I belong_

_Where you are_

_Near to you, I am healing_

_But it's taking so long_

_Though he's gone_

_And you are wonderful_

_It's hard to move on_

Susan and Peter greeted eachother with as much joy and love as they dared when they met up before boarding their train to go to school. Susan was glad to be with him again, and was almost positive that she was nearing her old self again. Peter felt the same, and they new that their own special remedy had worked. Together, they had put together back together, and prevented any further breaking. Peter continued to use his patented _To Susan_ smile at Susan, always reserving it for her, and her only.

There was no way that they could ever reveal what had secretly gone on between them, it was just something that they woud have to live with. They did, always working their schedules around each other, not sure whether one another could bear being away from each other for too long. They did not test it, until the fateful day when Edmund, Lucy, Peter, their parents, Eustace, and Jill boarded a train together. But, they still lived with it, ashamed to find out what would happen if the secret slipped. It was their own secret to keep. Together they were whole again, together they formed two halves. Together, they were one, and to test it was something they'd yet to do. For, they needed to be together, as often as they could, for they could not bear to be apart for too long.

_Near to you, I am healing_

_But it's taking so long_

_'Cause though he's gone_

_And you are wonderful_

_It's hard to move on_

_Yet, I'm better near to you._

_Yet, I'm better near to you._

**Thank you once again. NO FLAMES, and R & R, please. I'm tired of people reading this and not reviewing it. Please, have the guts to tell me how you like it.**

**Sorry about the ending, I could not think of one that fit.**


End file.
